IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL

[trombones]

Out of all the weird texts Sans ever got, "who wants a free trip to Disneyland" was the new number-one, knocking "BROTHER I NEED SHAVING CREAM IT'S AN EMERGENCY" off the charts.

The skeleton already knew something was up, especially when the word "free" came from Mettaton of all people. Hoo boy. Part of him was a little worried, but knowing MTT's track record with his brother, they probably weren't... hurt or dead or something. Just in some really, REALLY stupid shit.

Honestly, though. Who DOESN'T want a free trip to Disneyland? Because Sans barely knows what Disneyland is, and he already wants to go.

So here he was!! Normally, this would be the part where he takes advantage of room service for the next three hours but first, he had to make sure his brother wasn't actually on fire or whatever. He walks up to Mettaton and Papyrus' room and raps on the door.

"Knock knock."

PULL UP PULL UP PULL UP IN THE MONSTER, AUTOMOBILE GANGSTER.

Comments

[ex_mettacrusher33]

If he had arms, they would have been dramatically draped over his forehead at the mere thought of his broken heart. "betraying me." Tiny sigh. "'oh mettaton, i told you to be careful!! i told you not to get yourself hurt!! i'm out with my girlfriend, who i love more than you, so you're just going to have to rot there on your vacation with the moon of your life'," he helpfully paraphrased in the least flattering imitation of his best friend. It's awful when you can't mechanically adjust your vocal cords to be a perfect match, so nasally (?? he doesn't have a nose??) whining will have to do.

The question about said moon of his life causes the core to tense up a moment. There really isn't much reason why. Reflex, maybe. Holding secrets for so long tend to make you jumpy at the thought of spilling them, even after you already have. "...yes. he knows."

Well.

"ha... he actually already knew." And not because of Sans! Thankfully. Sans was a decent fellow; Mettaton would hate to kill him.

[trombones]

"Wow."

The skeleton's tone says plenty. He doesn't buy it. That's okay though, Mettaton can go as long as he wants to. He gets the jumpiness though. That definitely comes with secrets.

"Yeah. I know. It was fun watchin' him play detective for a while."

I FORGOT IT WAS MY TURN

[ex_mettacrusher33]

Oh.

Oh, Sans knew?

There's a soft thump of the heart rolling onto his side, like a teenage girl who just heard something scandalous at the slumber party. "and... you didn't happen to help him, did you?" Papyrus said he figured it out all on his own, but...

He knows Sans. Tricksy hobbit.

[trombones]

If any floating metal heart could pull a Gwen Stefani, Mettaton can. Sans can't quite see him, but he knows Mettaton thinks he's been talking shit.

"Nah. I just played sidekick," He said with a wink. "Detectives need an ear for their theories, y'know. And Gerson let me borrow an old trench coat and a hat so he could dress the part. You shoulda seen him, it was pretty cool."

There's some shuffling and sparking sounds coming out of Mettaton's body. That's normal.

"Anyway. He was already goin' the right direction on his own. I just gave him some vague ideas when he got stuck."

[ex_mettacrusher33]

You better believe it. If he had eyes, there'd be some major mal de ojo being thrown around. Instead, he continues to pout.

"hmph. what sort of vague ideas?" He makes it sound like even that was a great betrayal of his trust.

[trombones]

If Sans could remember that time Mettaton told him ghosts see souls better than most, he'd 1) hope the garish Hawaiian shirt he's wearing distracts from his scar, and 2) wonder if Mettaton could pick up on the cheeky shit he's pulling right now.

Because he totally is.

"You know. Vague," He said, shrugging. "I dunno, what? You want an essay and citations on the whole thing? I don't remember EVERYTHING I told 'im, ya know?"

[ex_mettacrusher33]

If it made Sans feel any better, Mettaton was far too self-absorbed in his own personal, body-horror tragedy to focus on Sans'. Besides, some small, blackout-drunk part of him feels like they've had that conversation before and, spoiler alert, it ended with Sans turning into a spooky dial-up modem.

Best not to bring it up for now.

Besides-besides, he's still offended. This was important and Sans is brushing it off like it was just another innocent prank! There's another hint of pink from under the bed, like the core is trying desperately to glare another hole into the skeleton. "well, wonderful. i'll remember that the next time he's curious about you."

...okay, so maybe he would focus on that.

[trombones]

Yeah, no. Don't make Sans do the creepy AOL thing again. Or do. Either's good.

"Hate to tell ya, but I don't got any deep dark secrets worth telling my brother," Sans says, going back to ignoring Mettaton and focusing on... well, Mettaton. He rolls his chair further back and tilts his head to get a better look inside the panel. Almost... "So go ahead, I guess."

mmmmmmmohmygodstopfuckinglying

"Besides, I already told you. Papyrus figured out most of it himself. He's the one who cracked it. I barely did anything... which, hey, suits me just fine. I'm just happy you guys finally cleared the air."

[ex_mettacrusher33]

"maybe i will!" Real mature, Mett.

He's back to rolling onto his "stomach". He wishes he had legs. Where are his legs. Being this limbless, helpless thing is the worst!! It's an absolute nightmare! He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy!!

...well. Maybe he'd wish it on that over-glorified starlet he opened for in Japan. Pft. Miku.

Sigh.

"yes... he's. he was very understanding. always so thoughtful, your brother." Then, in an barely audible, dreamy tone, "i owe him so many kisses..."

[trombones]

Sans is a Shinya Arino fan himself.

"I told you, right? He's awesome."

Also:

"Gross. You mind doing that after I leave?" As if Sans wasn't the biggest slob in the Underground. The skeleton's face scrunches up slightly, but otherwise doesn't look all that disgusted. He honestly wasn't very bothered anyway, but getting grossed out by your brother's love life and cooties is part of a sibling's job.

Anyway. A couple more minutes of tinkering later, Sans backs away from Mettaton's body. He's figuring out by now how to boot the rest of him back on. A few quick button presses does the trick.

"Bingo. So how do put yourself back in here?"

[ex_mettacrusher33]

Sans gets the closest approximation to a raspberry a tongueless, mouthless monster is capable of making. "i see we're still 12, sansy. you know, some of us are mature enough not to complain that our friends and family have found the loves of their lives. or is that jealousy tal--

"what? it's done?!" There's a streak of pink in the air as the metal heart dashes out from under the bed's cover to examine the body-- aaaaaaaaaand immediately realizes where he is and ducks behind said machine.

"...if you could turn around, please?"

[trombones]

The smaller skeleton would point out that he's smooched and even slept in the same bed as Toriel before (which I had to word really carefully just now, wow), but here comes Mettaton. Literally.

Which pretty much confirms what Sans thought MTT looked like, though he only gets a quick glimpse of it before he's hiding again. Sighing, he gives a casual shrug, his usual lazy grin, and spins around in his chair.

"I ain't looking. Give it a try."

[ex_mettacrusher33]

Whatever. MTT knows Sans didn't even know what Tier 15 meant. Papyrus told him so.

But there are more important things! Like... not being trapped in a Harlan Ellison novel! The second he hears the chair squeak, the core cautiously peaks above his own "shoulder" to see that the skeleton has, in fact, turned around. Satisfied, he makes his way to the front of his body, staring warily at the opening in the front panel.

If this did not work, there was a strong possibility that this could fry out his body with him inside of it. Just one, awful ZAP and that was it. Goodbye, Underground's star. Hello, dust.

Uuugh. Giving up his immortality... The things he did for fame.

There was a click as the core set itself back inside of its metal shell, then a hiss as the panels closed behind it. Electricity hummed as magic from the core transferred into robotic limbs and...

"DARLING, IF YOU DON'T TURN AROUND NOW, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GIVE YOU A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME MTT-BRAND EMBRACE?"

[trombones]

Okay, but he literally still doesn't know what Tier 15 is. And the way Papyrus talked about it, Sans almost thought you guys were having mecha-skeleton babies.

Luckily, that mini-heart attack was over and done with. Sans folds his hands over his ribs and leans back while he waits for Mettton to adjust himself. Rearrange himself. Whatever he's doing in there. As obnoxious as the skeleton can be, he can at least respect a Privacy when it comes to stuff like this.

Whatever happened, it sounded like it worked. Literally. Click, hum, Mettaton. Acting like he's going to give you something you didn't even know you asked for. Yep. He's back. Sans grins and whirls back around.

"Aw. Don't sweat it, Wheelies."

Why does he have a feeling there's only a 50% chance this is a real offer.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

Considering the two of them, perhaps ignorance is for the better. But lord, could you even imagine their hypothetical child? It'd be a sentient horror show.

Anyway, that feeling is because Sans is either bad at math or Mettaton, because Mettaton's sweeping forward to try and pick up the skeleton in a spinning hug attack anyway. "OOOOH DARLING, YOU'RE MY (SECOND) HERO!!"

Limbs! Glorious limbs!

[trombones]

Good god, don't even joke about something like that.

And welp, Sans was half-right. The skeleton is used to Papyrus picking him up enough that he's not even surprised, but he's also used to having somebody equally skeleton-shaped to hold onto. Good thing Mettaton's got huge hands.

"Whoa--"

Okay, you know what? This is fine. Mettaton can hug attack him. Sans just chuckles. Once the spinning stops, he pats the top of the robot's head.

"Heheheheh. Hey. Glad to be of service, pal. It was easy stuff. Bone appetite."

[ex_mettacrusher33]

Gasp!

He sets Sans down as quickly as he picked him up, hands going to his "hips". "SANS! HOW CRASS!!" Then, in a tone that sounded both scandalized and suspiciously like a teenager sitting around with their besties and talking about their crush: "YOU SAID TO WAIT UNTIL AFTER YOU LEFT."

[trombones]

?????????

Okay, he's being set down now.

"Huh?" Give him a second. "After what..."

OH. Ew.

"... Wow, dude. That was just a pun. Yeah, no, still wait."

[ex_mettacrusher33]

...oh.

Oh.

He's found it. Scientists have searched tirelessly for years to find the subject that could fluster the unbreakable Sans. They'd concluded the only thing capable was the queen Toriel, but, as of this second, there's been a breakthrough discovery.

There is another.

Mettaton's still chuckling. It's that awful, terrible laugh he does when he's teasing Alphys about her crushes, intentionally setting up Papyrus for awful puns, or letting loose snails in Blooky's room. It's that shitty, knowing laugh he does when he's about to transform into the world's most annoying best friend/boyfriend/younger-family-member.

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID IT, SANS. NOT ME. AT LEAST I KNOW WE HAVE YOUR SUPPORT FOR WHEREVER OUR RELATIONSHIP DECIDES TO GO."

[trombones]

To be fair, it's not as much of a fluster button as Toriel is. It's more of an ew-gross-brother-cooties-but-I'm-still-happy-for-you kind of thing. Sans quirks a non-eyebrow.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. You guys do that. Just not in front of me."