UNITED, WE CAN FIGHT THE METAL MENACE

[spah]

MANN VS. MACHINE

A robot army is invading Mann Co., a multinational company known for weapons, munitions, and hats. If you didn't know, they own 306 plants, office buildings, warehouses, and outlet malls in New Mexico alone. You may or may not work for them. One way or another, Saxton Hale, CEO and incredibly shirtless Australian man, has hired (or re-hired) you to defend his facilities worldwide from the robot invasion.

The robots were made by Gray Mann, owner of Gray Gravel Co. (headquartered on an island, made of spiky rock formations and gravel) and set on taking Mann Co. from Hale via, you know, robots. He them made himself, and vaguely resemble nine mercenaries infamous in New Mexico.

For your information and viewing, Hale has sent a tape explaining the situation. Simultaneously, he's wrestling a yeti. Between punching, blood, and some on-and-off asides from the cameraman, the jist of the speech goes like this:

"LISTEN UP, MERCS!

THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!

I won't smooch backsides on this either. These things are bigger than you. They're stronger than you. In fact, now that I'm saying it out loud, they're better than you at just about everything.

"MERCS! Your jobs died with the Mann brothers. You hear me? As of now, you are all unemployed! Also, straight plan talk here: Nobody's ever going to hire a non-metal man again with these robots around! I've seen them. They are spectacular.

Now for the good news! You're all re-hired! Grab a pen, here's your new job description: KILL ROBOTS!

NOW GET OUT THERE AND KICK SOME CAN!

I'd help, but as you can see, I will be fighting a yeti for nine more hours. MAKE ME PROUD, BOYS!"

For reasons the woman who gave you the tape can't comprehend or explain, the robots run on piles of money. Destroy them, and whatever falls out is yours. Get to Mann Co. immediately.

✘ Mann vs. Machine is a co-op mode from the video game Team Fortress 2. In MvM, you and others fight off waves of killer robots set on delivering an enormous bomb to your base. Familiarity with TF2 isn't necessary! Though MvM has game-specific facets, feel free to treat this is a good 'ol-fashioned robot army fighting meme. You know. Those ones.

HOW TO PLAY:
- Comment with your character and write a threadstarter
- Respond to other threadstarters
- Play and have fun! Three-way (or more) threads are encouraged, so feel free to do anything.
- Seriously, this is meant to be loose and fun. Go nuts!

Comments

[crabbmarche]

Aside from blowing up that wall.

[Spy takes the knife back, flipping it closed with a practiced and mildly show-off-y ease. Sometimes the flip tricks just come naturally, y'know? But once it's tucked away in his pocket, he uses Engineer's arm both as support and to support; hitting a wall that hard cannot have been good.

He's not going to rush it because the last thing they need is to exasperate themselves, but if he has to sit here with a bullet in his leg for another minute he's going to stab something.]

could probably start ending about here if you want?

[spah]

And stumbling on my ass.

[Engineer doesn't hide his eyes rolling as Spy flips the knife closed. They eventually stumble both their asses up the concrete ramp, past his sentry and the bomb port (why did that even exist), and finally up to the dispenser again the wall.]

Shoot, son. [He wheezes the word out.] Remind me to actually listen to Scout next time and move that dang thing.

[As he talks, he notices he starts talking better and better. He looks down at his arm. Despite the bloodstains on his jacket, the wound is gone. He takes a breath and pats his chest.]

Alright, go on.

sounds good!

[crabbmarche]

[That is leagues better. He rests against the wall and sighs, pulling out a cigarette and lighting up. He laughs at the comment.]

It would've saved us a lot of trouble.

[Once his leg is healed up, he checks the battery on his watch and nods at Engineer.]

You have my appreciation, amigo.

[He winks, and he's gone.]

[spah]

In my defense, that boy's mouth runs from ninety to nothin'. I learned how to tune him out years ago.

[The mercenary picks up a wrench leaning off the dispenser. By the time he turns around and opens his mouth again, Spy is already gone.

... Of course. Engineer shakes his head and grins lopsidedly at nothing in particular. Alright. Back to work.]