rackofbadcds | UNITED, WE CAN FIGHT THE METAL MENACE

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UNITED, WE CAN FIGHT THE METAL MENACE

A robot army is invading Mann Co., a multinational company known for weapons, munitions, and hats. If you didn't know, they own 306 plants, office buildings, warehouses, and outlet malls in New Mexico alone. You may or may not work for them. One way or another, Saxton Hale, CEO and incredibly shirtless Australian man, has hired (or re-hired) you to defend his facilities worldwide from the robot invasion.

The robots were made by Gray Mann, owner of Gray Gravel Co. (headquartered on an island, made of spiky rock formations and gravel) and set on taking Mann Co. from Hale via, you know, robots. He them made himself, and vaguely resemble nine mercenaries infamous in New Mexico.

For your information and viewing, Hale has sent a tape explaining the situation. Simultaneously, he's wrestling a yeti. Between punching, blood, and some on-and-off asides from the cameraman, the jist of the speech goes like this:

"LISTEN UP, MERCS!

THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!

I won't smooch backsides on this either. These things are bigger than you. They're stronger than you. In fact, now that I'm saying it out loud, they're better than you at just about everything.

"MERCS! Your jobs died with the Mann brothers. You hear me? As of now, you are all unemployed! Also, straight plan talk here: Nobody's ever going to hire a non-metal man again with these robots around! I've seen them. They are spectacular.

Now for the good news! You're all re-hired! Grab a pen, here's your new job description: KILL ROBOTS!

NOW GET OUT THERE AND KICK SOME CAN!

I'd help, but as you can see, I will be fighting a yeti for nine more hours. MAKE ME PROUD, BOYS!"

For reasons the woman who gave you the tape can't comprehend or explain, the robots run on piles of money. Destroy them, and whatever falls out is yours. Get to Mann Co. immediately.

✘ Mann vs. Machine is a co-op mode from the video game Team Fortress 2. In MvM, you and others fight off waves of killer robots set on delivering an enormous bomb to your base. Familiarity with TF2 isn't necessary! Though MvM has game-specific facets, feel free to treat this is a good 'ol-fashioned robot army fighting meme. You know. Those ones.

HOW TO PLAY:
- Comment with your character and write a threadstarter
- Respond to other threadstarters
- Play and have fun! Three-way (or more) threads are encouraged, so feel free to do anything.
- Seriously, this is meant to be loose and fun. Go nuts!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

A.

[These long pauses are getting ridiculous, but Engie goes quiet again anyway. He stares down Medic for another moment. If he wasn't wearing goggles, you could see the gears start turning in his head. He's thinking. Wondering. Good job, Medic, you're successfully nudging him in the right direction.

He doesn't voice it, though. Just as abruptly, he shakes his head. He looks around, like he suddenly remembers where he was and what he was doing. Heslips off the counter, letting his bag trail behind him and hit his hip. Don't worry, he's not leaving.]

Sorry for the sob story there. I'll work it out.

[Especially after what Medic already shared. He doesn't want to one-up it. He's just a long-winded storyteller. But now: an abrupt subject change! Because he's not feeling the sudden awkwardness of dumping his family problems out on a co-worker! Nope!!!!!]

Evie's up at my place now, while her husband's on assignment. Next time we get back to the states, maybe y'all can meet her and the kid.

B.

... Okay. Yeah. No.

[Oh yeah. He sees it. He knows what it is near-immediately, and snatches the needle about as quickly as Medic produces it. He'd put it in his pocket if he had the cap, but he doesn't feel like stabbing himself through his overalls.]

Look, doc. You better get left, 'cause you ain't right.

[Engie sighs. He nudges Medic on the shoulder again, this time trying to force him to turn around.]

We're lyin' down. C'mon.

A.

[If Medic notices the sudden change of subject (which, duh, how could he not?), he doesn't mention it. He's more than happy to let Dell pretend like the previous conversation never happened, and move right on forward into less awkward waters.]

[He pushes away from the counter, slipping the cigar into his pocket as he moves to resume his futile search for something interesting within the once-hallowed halls of the pharmacy.]

Would that maybe be contingent on whether or not you can convince her to allow a group of mercenaries within a hundred yards of her infant son?

[He grins, because pointing out how they're all a bunch of armed and dangerous lunatics never stops being funny, then turns his attention back to a pill-bottle with an unfamiliar label. Medic squints, trying to make sense of the name, but it just doesn't ring any bells. Must be some sort of off-brand medication, maybe something foreign or quite possibly illegal in most parts of the country.]

[Medic stares for a moment more, considering the possible uses and side effects, before shrugging his shoulders, popping the cap, and shaking a few of the pills directly into his mouth.]

[He swallows them dry because he's just Powerful like that, and cringes at the bitter aftertaste.]

Ach. Well, the next twenty four hours are going to be interesting.

B

[Wow okay rude. Medic is the only person allowed to steal medical equipment, Engie needs to get his own shtick.]

Wh - Don't be ridiculous. I've only just begun to refine the reanimation process.

[He's just gonna try and take that pen back, because he doesn't actually expect Engie to fight him on this - the first of many wrong assumptions his sleep deprived brain will make tonight.]

I'll need to work through the night if I'm to have eight more machines ready before the next attack.

A.

[Engineer would put own his own, but it's probably rude to stamp out a cigar in the middle of a pharmacy. He snorts as he finishes another drag.]

Trust me. My sister's all spitfire and cuss words. Y'all got more reason to be afraid of Evelyn Conagher-Freeman than she does any of you.

[Then he turns around and-- oh. Oh. You're doing this. You're eating pills.]

Do I wanna ask what that was? [Powerful. Cool!!!] ... I'll keep the dispenser out.

[Partly for Medic, partly for everyone else in case they're down a doctor for a day.]

B.

[He has his own shtick! You're making him do this!!!

Anyway. Medic might be a little taller, but that doesn't stop Engineer from holding the pen away from him at arm's length. The other hand grabs at his collar.]

Doc, we've lived this far. Day ain't gonna make a difference.

[He pulls at Medic's collar to try and get him moving forward. He realizes he'll have to watch himself through the bloody floor, but the first step was getting Medic moving in the first place.]

Besides, you'll do 'em better after some sleep. [That, and honestly: Engineer doesn't trust you to build eight anti-death machines on epinephrine alone.] I'll help y'out.

A.

[Medic turns, flashing Engineer a bright, entirely unapologetic smile.]

That's what we're going to find out.

[He holds the bottle up, giving it a playful little shake before setting it on the counter.]

Granted, I could have crushed the pills and analyzed the powder in my lab, but this much more fun.

[Apparently tripping balls or having a horrible, potentially life-threatening allergic reaction qualifies as Fun in Medic's book.]

B.

[Medic opens his mouth to argue, a finger raised mid-air to accentuate whatever point he's about to make, but no words come. He just sort of stalls out, the gears in his head slowing to a crawl as he realizes he doesn't actually have a good counter to Engie's argument]

[Medic abruptly drops his hand, his jaw clicking shut as he levels Engineer with a flat, exasperated look. Damn him for being so reasonable.]

If anyone dies, their blood will be on your hands. And then your blood will be on my hands.

[Don't worry Engie, he doesn't mean it. He definitely sounds like he does, and the murderous expression on his face certainly gives support to that idea, but you know him. He just gets a little cranky when he's tired.]

A.

... Yeah. I'll keep the dispenser out. I'm just gonna hope for your sake that's somebody's hip medication or somethin'. Or those Kill-Me-Come-Back-Stronger pills.

[Thanks for telling him about that, Soldier. But also, if you die and he has to be the healer, he's kicking your ass beyond the grave ok. Anyway. Engie shakes his head.]

Well, doc. It's your stomping grounds. Hope you find somethin' interesting.

B.

[Yeah. That's what he thought.

So, like an exasperated mother yanking her kids by the ears, Engineer leads Medic out of the room by the collar, careful not to slip on blood he's most definitely tracking out now. The homicidal look on Medic's face only gets a flat glance before the Texan turns ahead.]

Maybe I'll die first and we'll meet somewhere in the middle.

[That's a joke. It's a good one too, because Engineer chuckles to himself. It's the kind of high-pitched hyuk he reserved for good dad jokes. Alright, get your ass out the hall.]

A.

[Medic snorts, not even bothering to tone down his skepticism.]

I doubt there's anything here that cannot be found in any other pharmacy in the country.

[If he sounds bitter about that, it's because he is.]

Unless...

[He pauses, a sudden thought occurring to him. Abruptly, he places a hand on the counter behind him and hops over it, not because he's in any particular hurry but because boyhood habits die hard.]

[He pushes aside a few boxes with his boot, clearing the space in front of the cash-register. A rubber mat now covers the floor, likely to protect the old wooden floorboards from further weathering.]

[Or, if Medic's hunch is correct, to hide something the new owners didn't want to acknowledge.]

Auf keinen Fall. They wouldn't have--

[He kicks aside the mat, and immediately breaks into an ecstatic grin. He laughs, giddy and incredulous and glad, before quickly turning to Engineer and waving him to come over immediately.]

It's still here! By Gott, it's still here!

B.

[Fffffffff oh goddamn it Engie he can't stay mad at you.]

[Damn you and your awful, awful jokes that hit him right in the funny bone.]

[Medic fights valiantly against a smile, but despite his best efforts his expression is forcefully softened from a scowl into a look of fond annoyance.]

I'll bring you back just to kill you a second time. Well see how many smart comments you'll be making then.

[Ah, bantering back and forth about hypothetical murder scenarios. What a wholesome bonding activity.]

A.

[Oh dang. Something's happening. Dell would hop over the counter if he wasn't holding something literally smolding, so he walks himself around to the other side. It's a lot less dramatic than hopping the counter, but hey. Safety first, okay.]

Whoah, okay. Hold your horses. What is?

B.

[You love his stupid jokes and his awful dad puns, okay. And despite Engineer's flat look earlier, his lips curl wryly as he looks down the hall. It's easy to get Engie to smile in the first place, but, you know. He's about as into hypothetical murder scenarios as the next guy.]

Aw. That'd be real kind of you, doc. I'd almost say you were sweet on me.

[Okay, down the hall, towards their sleeping quarters. Luckily, this place was big enough that most of the team could claim rooms. Not nearly as individualized as the main base, but it was better than grumbling and bumping elbows as much as they did in some places.

By now, Engie let go of Medic's collar. He now had a light hold on his arm. It'd be more romantic if he wasn't leading him like an old woman across the street.]

A.

[Medic is practically buzzing with excitement by the time Engineer moseys on over to the other side of the counter. His smile is wide, his eyes are bright, and if not for all the evidence gathered over the years that suggests that he's just like this, you'd think he was high - probably on all those pills he just took.]

[Alas, the only thing Medic is high on right now is life.]

Eheh. Something the neighbors would have destroyed if they had ever found it.

[Medic gestures downwards, directing Engie's attention to a square section of wood that appears just a bit darker than the surrounding flooring.]

[Medic wastes little time in kneeling down to pry it up, revealing the dark, steep stairwell hidden beneath it. Immediately the scent of stale air creeps up from the underground, musty and thick. Not that Medic seems to mind.]

B.

[If Medic had his way, he would have simply stayed in his lab and slept on one of the gurneys as he is wont, but something tells him that wouldn't have flown with Engie. Not just because sleeping on something you wheel dead or dying folks around on is questionable, but because if he remained in his lab the temptation to return to work would be ever-present.]

[Damn Dell and his forward thinking.]

We'll see how sweet you think I am once I program your reanimator to revive you without any bones.

[It's a hollow threat, not because he isn't perfectly capable of doing just that, but because he would never actually follow though on it. Well, not unless Dell somehow made himself his enemy overnight, but that goes without saying.]

A.

[Okay, color Engie impressed. Not surprised (was he EVER surprised at this point) but definitely impressed. He squats down next to stairwell, cigar now sticking out the side of his mouth, and he wasn't unlike a detective investigating a dead body. He even rubs his beard, which he had grown out to decent scratching-length at this point. Truly, a hard-boiled nasty detective.

Speaking of nasty--]

Oof. Boy bowdy.

[That's definitely a smell. Engineeer could handle most offensive odors (and they all smelled like blood and sweat half the time), but that "old" smell had him crinkling his nose.]

Alright, don't tell me. I'm gonna take a swing at it. Secret lab?

[because like

he wouldn't put that past you]

B.

See? If that ain't sweet, I dunno what is.

[Okay, Engie's just being a shit at this point.

He also can't talk, because he's slept in his workshop, various garages, etc. The only difference was that he built himself something to sleep on, and it came with moving parts and self-serving beer (love or hate the Rancho Relaxo). On the other hand - that didn't always stop him from dozing off on his workbench or a rolling mechanic's creeper underneath whatever he happened to be working on at the time.

Finally, they get to Medic's room. Engineer, who's hand had settled on the back of Medic's arm like he was leading an old man to his chair, finally lets go.]

Alright, come on.

[He's not going to tuck you in.

Don't make him tuck you in.]

A

[Oh, Engie. You know him so well.]

And operating theater.

[Because of course Medic's family preformed surgical procedures in their creepy underground cellar. Of course they did.]

They were a pair of many talents, my parents. The did not restrict themselves to only a single field of medicine.

[He's just gonna go ahead and not elaborate on why he used the past tense right there and instead start making his way down the stairs, fully expecting Engie to follow behind him without needing to be prompted.]

B

[You know, he wasn't terribly enthused about this whole going to sleep idea before, but now that his bed is within sight Medic suddenly feels like maybe he didn't give Engie's suggestion of going the fuck to sleep the consideration it deserved. It's not a half bad idea, really. Not half-bad at all.]

My, how forward of you Herr Ingenieur. So eager to get me into bed.

[What really sells this joke is the fact that Medic makes the point to take off his tie as he says it, just to really drive the innuendo home.]

A.

[At this point, he really does. Engie hums in quiet surprise.]

Huh. Good guess.

[Nice job, him.

As for the past tense - Engineer notices, but doesn't ask. Again, curious, but also not the type to pry into personal business. Most of the nine of them either had bizzare family histories (see: Tavish) or were old enough to have fairly elderly parents. He wouldn't be surprised if past tense simply meant the latter.

Speaking of curiosity, though, you bet your ass Engineer is going down there - smell or not. He follows Medic.]

They build this?

B.

[Engineer quirks an eyebrow as he leans against the door frame, arms crossed. It'd look more like the set-up to a bad porno if it wasn't coming from a five-foot-four man in grease-stained overalls and bloody boots.]

Sure. But it'd be more romantic if y'didn't look like you picked a fight with a raccoon and lost.

[is it flirting when you say the other person looks like shit]

Edited 2018-04-26 17:55 (UTC)

A.

Refined, yes. Built, no.

[He keeps a hand along the wall as they travel further down and the light becomes even more scarce, just to give himself a better idea of where he is relative to the rest of the narrow stairwell.]

It was a bomb shelter, originally. Most houses in the village have them.

[For...pretty obvious reasons.]

Either the new owners never found it, or they were too afraid to open the hatch and see what's inside.

[He chuckles at the thought, and wouldn't you know it, his already creepy laugh somehow sounds even more disconcerting when it's echoing in a dark, cold stairwell.]

B.

[Medic gasps in mock-surprise and puts a hand to his chest, feigning deep, personal insult.]

Ach, Liebling, you wound me. I thought we had something special, but now I see you only want me for my looks.

[He really should just shut up and go to bed already, but God help him he's got a weakness for witty banter.]

A.

Makes sense.

[Engineer takes note of that echoing laughter and realizes more than ever that they're definitely in Medic's territory now. Beyond being in Germany, beyond fighting off killer robots in his old stomping grounds - the secret door in the floor that lead to a secret lab (and operating theater) narrowed it down almost perfectly.

Dell would be honest - he was out of his element. It didn't help that the dim light of his cigar added to the atmosphere, like a candle in the dark - if it was a really shitty candle.]

My guess is the latter. Ain't hard to notice when your floor's hollow.

B.

[Okay, Engie laughs. You got him doing it, low-rumbling and chuckling and all. It's not hard to put the merc in a good mood, but it's equally nice when getting your mad-scientist doctor to Go The Fuck To Sleep isn't nearly as dramatic as you expected.]

Okay, okay. You got me. Get the hell to bed.

[He's not leaving yet, of course. Mainly to make sure Medic doesn't leave the room immediately after he walks out.]

A.

[Medic scoffs, not at Engie's guess but at the fact he's probably right.]

Ridiculous. What did they think we were keeping down here, the boogeyman?

[Medic holds his hand out as they descend the last few steps, waving it from left to right until he feels a thin metal chain brush against his fingers. He gives the chain a pull, and my some miracle the old bulb mounted overhead slowly begins to brighten, illuminating the small room at the foot of the stairs with a soft, muddy glow.]

Now let's see. [He squints, trying to get a better look at the brick wall before them.] If I remember correctly, the door should be right...

[He runs his hand along the wall, feeling for a particularly loose brick.]

...Here!

[Medic removes the brick, revealing the handle hidden behind it. He gives it a turn, then presses his shoulder against the wall. It swings open with some reluctance, its hinges creaking and groaning in protest.]

[In fairness to the hidden door, it's been decades since it was last opened. It has every right to be a little rusty.]

B

[Laughter is contagious, especially when you've reached the point of sleep-deprivation that Medic has, where you teeter precariously on the razors edge of mania and hysteria. He laughs, a little weakly by his usual standards, and shakes his head at himself. Okay, yeah, no, Engie's right. He needs a fucking nap.]

Ja, ja. I heard you the first time, Vati.

[He makes a shooing motion with his hand, as though he doesn't know damn well that Engie isn't going to turn around and leave just because he's been dismissed.]

Off you go. The door's on the wall.

A.

Damn. [Yep. Engie's still impressed.] This is some James Bond kind of stuff.

[This place is more like a hidden dungeon than a secret base, but that was too obvious a comparison for Engineer. The merc helps Medic push with his artificial hand 'til the door opens.]

Maybe they read too much Bram Stoker. Heh.

[Why anyone would come to the conclusion that a pair of doctors were keeping vampires under their pharmacy is another story but

stranger things have literally happened (see: aliens, ghosts, Hell)]

B.

I know where it is.

[Nope. Sorry, Medic. He's not moving 'til he actually sees you get into bed.]

A.

[Once the door creaks open, Medic wastes no time stepping into the hidden room and hitting the lightswitch. The bulbs overhead hum lowly as they power on, flickering for a few moments before emitting a steady, pale glow.]

[In fairness to Engie's earlier joke, the laboratory does look very much like someone re-purposed the set of Nosferatu for medical storage. The stone walls are lined with shelves and cabinets, each packed to the brim with supplies and equipment that range from (formerly) modern to downright medieval in terms of technological age. At a glance, it could very easily be mistaken for a small medical history museum, a personal collection of the various tools of the surgical trade.]

[Upon closer inspection, however, it becomes apparent that these items aren't for display but active use - you know, assuming the drains in the floor and the bloodstained medical table in the center of the room aren't just for decoration.]

...Gott, it's just the way we left it.

[Give him a sec Engie he's just gonna stand in the doorway and bask in nostalgia for a moment before remembering someone else would probably like to walk into the room too. He quickly steps aside once he realizes he's blocking the door and offers Engie a sheepish smile before waving him in.]

[Sorry bro he was lost in the moment.]

Come in, come in! Let me show you around.

[Yeah come walk into my parlor said the spider to the fly.]

B.

[Medic pauses to give Engie a look, the flat, incredulous kind that says 'You're joking' without the need for words.]

You're joking.

[Look he's tired he has every right to be as redundant was he damn well pleases.]

A.

[Engie's not that much shorter than Medic, but the other man still has a good half-a-head on him. In a doorway this narrow, it blocks most of Engie's view. He gets it, though. By the time Medic has enough mind to step aside, he shakes his head with a small smirk as he finally steps in.

... Damn. Bram Stoker stoke wasn't far off, but it's closer to Murnau (speaking of Germans).]

Damn.

[Okay, speaking of redundancy. He sets his hands on his hips and gives a huff of amazement.]

Y'all really thought of everything, didn't ya?

B.

Nope.

[Engie quirks a brow.]

I'm not saying I don't trust you to just go back after I'm out of sight... [He brings a hand up and gestures uselessly.] ... I don't trust you to just go back after I'm out of sight.

[He hand goes back down and he smiles. It looks more smug than he means to, but that's fine. He knows your games, dude.]

A.
[Medic can't help but smile at Engie's response - as healthy as his self-esteem is on its own, praise like that coming from a scientific peer makes for one hell of an ego boost.]

What can I say? We're German. Efficiency is in our blood.

[He claps a hand on Engie's shoulder, hoping to steer him towards the operating table - the centerpiece of the entire room.]

Look there. How many lives do you think were saved, right at this spot?

B.

[If Medic looks like he's just been called the fuck out and knows it, it's because he has. He stands there, mouth slightly agape, almost unable to comprehend just how hard Engie has him pegged.]

[Then he frowns, looking every bit like the petulant child he's being treated as, and raises his hands as though to say 'what the hell, dude?']

I wasn't going to at first, but now I feel like I should just on principle.

[The principle of spite, he means.]

A.

[Oh, it's a hell of a centerpiece. Engineer had noticed it already, but now that they were getting a closer look, it was hard not to chuckle. Speaking of parents, it's hard not to admire listening to Medic talk about his. He smiles and crosses his arms.]

What, you want a solid number? I'm guessin' a lot.

B.

[Okay, Engie looks more than a little smug now. What now bITCH.]

Hoss, just get to bed. I'll be outta your hair the sooner you do.

A

[Medic grins, giving Engie's shoulder a little squeeze and shove combo to congratulate him for his entirely accurate assessment.]

You're not wrong.

[Nice humble-brag there Medic.]

Even when business was slow, that table was rarely ever unoccupied for more than a week at a time.

[He lets out a quiet, self-depreciating chuckle and shakes his head, then reaches out to run his fingers over the the table, creating trails in the fine layer of dust that has accumulated atop of it over the many years since its abandonment.]

Granted, that was mostly my own doing. As a boy, I had the habit of bringing home strays then begging my mother to fix them. She never had the heart to tell me no.

[Engie better hope he has a camera on him, because this is perhaps the first and last time he'll ever see Medic smiling in a way that isn't the least bit sinister, intentionally or otherwise. Turns out all that's needed to soften his usually-sharp smile is to get him to talk about his mom, who knew?]

B

[See, Medic wasn't gonna be a petty bitch about this at first, but now he feels like he has no other choice.]

[Smug grin, meet defiant, deadpan stare.]

Or, hypothetically, I could just stand here and continue to waste your time.

A.

[Oh damn. Follow for more Soft Medic, because it's happening right now. Engie watches Medic for a moment with careful regard, taking a moment to realize what was going on. Then, his own smile softening too, he looks back to the table.]

Must've been a hell of a woman. [Yeah, he picked up on the past-tense earlier. No sense in acting like he didn't.] Your mother, I mean.

B.

[... Engineer blinks. Oh. He's still smiling, but there's the slightest strain. You're doing this now. Oh boy.]

Is that a hypothetical or a threat?

[because you could also just stop being a stubborn old bastard]

A

[Hopefully Engie doesn't mind a brief lull in the conversation - it's not often Medic finds himself lost in wholesome thought, and he wants to take a moment to enjoy the novelty of it.]

Ja. She was.

[Medic hesitates a moment, unsure whether he wants to broach the subject any further. There's really only so much dancing around he can do before the obvious questions are raised, and he'd rather not take this conversation into potentially awkward territory.]

[But then again, Medic is proud as hell of his mother and he would be remiss if he didn't make it very clear why that is.]

She taught me everything I did not teach myself.

[Just in case Engie had any remaining doubts that Medic actually went to medical school or had any sort of formal training whatsoever.]

B

[Medic will stop being stubborn when he finally figures out what part of his brain to scoop out. Until then, Engie's just gonna have to deal.]

It's simply a statement of fact.

[Which is to say, yeah, it's definitely a threat.]

A.

[As always, Engineer won't push it. He figured Medic might have had older parents, so if he asked - the simplest answer wouldn't surprise him.

He huffs out a laugh.]

You know? I ain't surprised.

[... which makes him wonder.]

So. She was a doctor 'round here too?

[Not that Engineer doubted her occupation. Just curious about what she did around here.]

B.

[

yep

yep okay this is happening

Engie kicks off his boots (mainly to keep from tracking more blood, and mutters to himself. It's southern curses, don't worry about it, because 2 seconds later he's approaching and physically pushing Medic to the bed.

YOU ASKED FOR THIS.]

Edited 2018-06-17 03:48 (UTC)

A

[Medic snorts, equal parts derisive and amused.]

In the court of public opinion she was little more than a glorified nurse, but by all rights, she was doctor - the finest in all of Bavaria.

[He pauses to nudge Engie's shoulder, directing him towards a where several framed documents are hung. Medic takes a moment to wipe the dust away from the glass panes, revealing the aged papers beneath. The writing is all in German of course, but the formatting should be familiar enough for Engie to recognize them for what they are: certificates, degrees, and awards - at least a dozen of them.]

Not wanting to let her brilliance go unrecognized, my father let her practice under his name.

[He chuckles, amused by a private joke, before deciding he may as well let this particular cat out of the bag.]

--Which was her's to begin with. You'll notice the award reads Humboldt, not Moreau.

[Yeah, his Father took his Mother's surname instead of the other way around. There was some legal trouble he had to dodge, a whole new identity he needed to forge, you know how it goes.]

B

[Woah woah WOAH.]

[HEY]

[WOAH]

[LETS MAYBE NOT WITH THE PUSH--aaand never mind it's happening.]

[Under normal circumstances it would take a lot more than a shove to knock Medic's ass over, but he hasn't slept in literal days and Engie's got really meaty arms okay. He can't be blamed for falling like a tree - but he totally can be blamed for reaching out to snag one of Engie's overall straps while he does.]

[Really, he just meant to grab onto something to keep himself from falling, but this works too.]

[If he's going down he's taking you with him fucker.]

A.

[Well, holy shit. Engineer can't help a second low whistle as the amount of prestige on the wall. He crosses his arms.]

Hot damn. I guess "hell of a woman" is an understatement.

[Hell, the explanation wasn't even necessary. Puts Medic's father in a decent light too, sure, but he's more impressed with Mrs. Humbolt right now. He smiles lopsidedly and glances up at Medic.]

Wouldn't've minded meetin' her.

[Said with its own tender touch. Engineer looks back to the awards. The merc knows he can't, for reasons already implied, but he figures the thought counts. He always liked meeting like-minds.]

B.

[Yep, nope. This is happening. This is for your own good, bud-- oh god dammit.

Engineer takes a split-second too long to realize Medic has a hold of them, and by then he's being pulled forward. He yelps and feels his feet leave the floor (Medic's not that much taller, Engie has stubby legs) just before they hit the bed.

Well, Medic hits the bed. Engie hits Medic - forehead smacking the other man in the solar plexus in the world's most inaccurate headbutt. It takes another split second before he scrambles on all fours.

Welp. Mission accomplished. technically. Medic's on the bed. Engie huffs out a breath.]

That so hard?

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UNITED, WE CAN FIGHT THE METAL MENACE

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