UNITED, WE CAN FIGHT THE METAL MENACE

[spah]

MANN VS. MACHINE

A robot army is invading Mann Co., a multinational company known for weapons, munitions, and hats. If you didn't know, they own 306 plants, office buildings, warehouses, and outlet malls in New Mexico alone. You may or may not work for them. One way or another, Saxton Hale, CEO and incredibly shirtless Australian man, has hired (or re-hired) you to defend his facilities worldwide from the robot invasion.

The robots were made by Gray Mann, owner of Gray Gravel Co. (headquartered on an island, made of spiky rock formations and gravel) and set on taking Mann Co. from Hale via, you know, robots. He them made himself, and vaguely resemble nine mercenaries infamous in New Mexico.

For your information and viewing, Hale has sent a tape explaining the situation. Simultaneously, he's wrestling a yeti. Between punching, blood, and some on-and-off asides from the cameraman, the jist of the speech goes like this:

"LISTEN UP, MERCS!

THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!

I won't smooch backsides on this either. These things are bigger than you. They're stronger than you. In fact, now that I'm saying it out loud, they're better than you at just about everything.

"MERCS! Your jobs died with the Mann brothers. You hear me? As of now, you are all unemployed! Also, straight plan talk here: Nobody's ever going to hire a non-metal man again with these robots around! I've seen them. They are spectacular.

Now for the good news! You're all re-hired! Grab a pen, here's your new job description: KILL ROBOTS!

NOW GET OUT THERE AND KICK SOME CAN!

I'd help, but as you can see, I will be fighting a yeti for nine more hours. MAKE ME PROUD, BOYS!"

For reasons the woman who gave you the tape can't comprehend or explain, the robots run on piles of money. Destroy them, and whatever falls out is yours. Get to Mann Co. immediately.

✘ Mann vs. Machine is a co-op mode from the video game Team Fortress 2. In MvM, you and others fight off waves of killer robots set on delivering an enormous bomb to your base. Familiarity with TF2 isn't necessary! Though MvM has game-specific facets, feel free to treat this is a good 'ol-fashioned robot army fighting meme. You know. Those ones.

HOW TO PLAY:
- Comment with your character and write a threadstarter
- Respond to other threadstarters
- Play and have fun! Three-way (or more) threads are encouraged, so feel free to do anything.
- Seriously, this is meant to be loose and fun. Go nuts!

Comments

2/2

[crabbmarche]

[Sorry. His brain's still not completely functioning, what with the bullet you put in it and all. It takes him a long, long moment to realize what just happened, what Medic's done, and the implications of it all. This asshole just found a way to cheat death.

And it works on the rest of the team - or, at least, on him.

Slowly, he stands up, mouth slightly agape until he can force it to form words and say,]

You... glorious bastard.

[malpractitioner]

[Wait for it, wait for it...]

[There we go, that's the response he was looking for.]

[Medic beams, his face lighting up like the fourth of July as Spy acknowledges the gravity of the insane bullshit he just pulled.]

[It's one thing to be proud of his own accomplishments, but it's always nice to have someone around to elbow and say 'DUDE DID YOU SEE THAT' to as he defies all of nature's laws and makes Death his bitch.]

I know, ja?

[He laughs, because that's just what he does when he's this giddy and sleep deprived, and leans over to give the reanimator a fond pat.]

Once I've refined the process, not even complete dismemberment will be irreversible.

[Oh yeah, it's not finished yet. Did he forget to mention that? Because yeah, this is just the first draft.]

[crabbmarche]

[His limbs are starting to work properly again, so he pushes away from the gurney to assess the damage. Nothing a quick preening won't fix. So while he re-adjusts his cuffs and tie, he re-composes himself enough to be able to properly articulate himself again.]

Refined - so this is just a prototype? And it works this well?

[He shakes his head in a mixture of awe and disbelief.]

Well. I suppose I can forgive you shooting me, then. This is going to be monumental, docteur.