FOR SHANNON BUT ANYONE ELSE CAN COME IF THEY WANT

[givemeliberty]

[Our silent protagonist of Grand Theft Auto III is standing around leaned on a cool sports car drinking a soda. This is supposed to be a vague allusion to that Grand Theft Auto parodying Coke commercial.

That's about it.

Oh no! So perilous! So interesting! WHAT WILL YOU DO?

And p.s. there somebody knocked out in the trunk of the car.]

Comments

[kumamon]

[Soon enough, a giant but very adorable black bear approaches our silent badass. He leans up on the car next to Claude, looking at him in the eye with a big, doofy grin.]

[He's holding a white box in one hand and waving joyously with the other. Whoever he is, and whoever Claude is, he's very happy to see him!]

[givemeliberty]

[CLAUDE SPEED normally takes no shit, but this shit is too suprising to not take at least a little. Since I have no suprised-looking icons yet I guess he was taking a swing out of the glass bottle when the what-the-fuck approached, as soon as it catches his eye he stops and

slowly

lowers the bottle.

He's in between wanting to laugh and freaked out, and since that doesn't go together very well he just stares kinda blanky. He mouths a slow 'what the fuck...', at the same time slowly raising his free hand (he doesn't even know why) to awkwardly wave back.

OKAY.]

[kumamon]

[The bear doesn't even notice the awkwardness in the waving, or the blank stare. He's just incredibly happy! He bows kindly to Claude, before an idea hits him.]

[He opens his white box, and begins fishing through it. Whatever was banging around in there was small, numerous, and loud. Cards, maybe?]

[givemeliberty]

[By habit (working with the Yazuka put him in it), he gives a slight, awkward bow back without thinking before realzing... he's bowing to a bear. Or a guy in a bear costume, he doesn't know what the fuck.

Then the white box shows up and he just. Stares. Some more. Claude is a super conversationalist, okay.]

[kumamon]

[IT'S LIKE A SILENT MOVIE]

[The cute bear pulls out a little periwinkle blue business card with his face on it, the name 'Kumamon' with a phone number and address, and a nice little message:]

["Life is full of surprises! Enjoy them all!"]

[He eagerly waits for Claude to take the card. He gives him a hopeful smile.]

[givemeliberty]

[FUCK

So uh. Claude kinda stands there a minute, bottle in hand. Then he finally takes the card. He gives it a once over to see what it says, then gives the bear a look like

what the fuck is this supposed to be even.]

I'M LAUGHING SO HARD

[kumamon]

[Kumamon happily raises his arms in a moment of triumph, absolutely ecstatic that Claude accepted his card, even if it took a moment of the poor bear anxiously waiting. As if to give him his utmost thanks, he gives Claude a very literal bear hug.]

[This guy with the nice sports car and the bottle is incredibly kind! Kumamon was glad he was a kind, kind man.]

[Of course, he doesn't know about the body in the trunk. But that's an incredibly minor detail.]

OH GOD

[givemeliberty]

[SO BY THE WAY, THIS IS A GUY WHO'S BEEN FOR-HIRE FOR BOTH THE ITALIAN MAFIA AND THE YAZUKA. Kumamon are hugging this for-hire dude. But getting hugged was too weird for Claude. He starts struggling out of his grasp.

HE NEEDS TO BREATHE JESUS CHRIST LEAVE HIM ALONE.]

[kumamon]

[Noticing the struggling, Kumamon lets go and bows profusely as an apology. He really didn't mean to hurt Claude!]

[The poor bear thought that the bowing wasn't enough, so out of his box, he pulled out a pen and a small notepad. He quickly scribbled out a doodle of himself, looking sad, with a big "Sorry!" written underneath.]

[He handed the picture to Claude. Kumamon wanted to show he wasn't a bad bear. He was a great, great bear! And Claude was a great, great dude.]

[Kumamon, your naivety will be the death of you.]

[givemeliberty]

[oh jesus christ here we go. like this wasn't fucking weird enough, the bear was actually sorry for what he did.

and for some reason it felt to weird to shoot or beat this guy--thing, with a baseball bat.

CLAUDE'S SLIGHT SYMPATHY SENSES ACTIVATE.

He takes the picture, stares at it with furrowed eyebrows then looks up at him and awkwardly... nods.

seriously dude it's okay just go away this is too weird.]

[kumamon]

[Kumamon gives him a big smile and claps with joy, very thankful that Claude accepted his apology! That's when yet another idea hit him.]

[He hands his notepad and pen to Claude, as if to say 'why don't you draw something, too?']

[Since this man was the only one around, maybe Kumamon could make a really good friend?]

[givemeliberty]

[claude's expression is blank, but he just raises an eyebrow because... yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

OH HEY PEN. uh. okay, he's bored. he'll play this shit. he stuffs his hand in his pockets as he takes another drink from his bottle and looks around. there isssss a baseball bat in the car. slightly bloodstained, but he's washed most of it off. there's also a duffel bag full of guns but we don't talk about that or fight club. he takes his hands out of his pockets and draws that.

THERE YOU GO.]